It is hard to put my future plans on paper. I have wrestled with them for some time. Though my heart has been pulling me away from full time ministry and back to the academic field, fear and pride has torn at my resolve for almost a year.
I love college students– period. I can’t see myself in any profession in which they are not apart of the demographic. I thought more education would get me a little closer to them. In my time at the University of Cincinnati, I have seen three different directors at the counseling center. There is only two counselors that have been there more than a year. As a campus minister, (as a last resort) I have been called by many people just to talk, because the wait to be seen is weeks and sometimes a months wait. It is a pattern on most college campuses.
As of September 1, 2007 I will be moving to a part time status with the CCO at University Christian Church. I will (hopefully) be attending Xavier University (also in Cincinnati) in January for a Masters in Community Counseling. Upon completion, I will be banging on the doors of the counseling center at the University of Cincinnati. I am afraid. I have been out of school for over 2 years. Most of my professors said that if I didn’t continue, I would never go back. Many say that it will be impossible to do school full time and work. I know that all these things are true. I am doomed on my own, but I serve a God of miracles.
There are no guarantees. As I get older, I am realizing that more and more. I long for financial stability, but really is that ever possible? I want a dream job, but contrary to the get rich quick stories in the media– it takes work. “Who can be saved then?” the disciples of Jesus ask when faced with these same issues. Jesus responded by saying “ By human resources this is impossible; With God everything is possible.” -Matthew 19:23-26. I suck, thank God he rocks. I repent daily for not trusting that he will provide for me. I look ahead knowing that it is going to take work but I am not alone.
My call is not glamorous. The folks I feel God calling me to share the Gospel with is not in the “mission fields” of Africa. The poor and broken are right here in the little big city of Cincinnati. The hopeless sit in classrooms nameless. The hungry are the homeless that wonder the streets of Clifton, stuck in the viscous cycle of alcoholism and indifference. The forgotten children live on my street, many in middle school and can’t read. All that said, I am willing to do anything to stay here. I see Jesus so clearly in students eyes, in the forgotten on the streets and in laughs of kids from the neighborhood.
Thank you for your support in keeping me here for the last two years. You gifts and prayers are continually needed– so keep them coming. I am sorry It has taken so long to send one of these things out.!! I have been putting off until Fall plans came together. I thank you for your patience and grace.
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